This is going out to all those NaNo winners. That’s right. Because after year after successful year, I imagine these dedicated writers just want to FAIL for once, right? To feel, on December 1st, pain instead of joy, resentment instead of accomplishment. To run to your friends and say, “I didn’t write a novel in a month!” Because if you haven’t experienced that before, you really aren’t a true NaNo-er, are you?
Step 1) Begin at midday on November 1st after telling yourself you were going to begin at midnight. Don’t have any idea what the hell you are writing. End up writing a semi-autobiographical scene about your Halloween experiences.
Step 2) Decide that working on NaNoWriMo on school computers is a good idea. Save a document that took your word count from 6,000 to 10,000. Have computer hate you and not save the file or any version of a back-up file.
Step 3) Get extremely unmotivated. Also, it would help if you leave on a long weekend in an interesting city. Don’t work on NaNo at all, even though you have your laptop. Use lame excuses such as, “There’s no elbow room,” to not write.
Step 4) Try and make up for lost time. Write blogs instead of working on NaNo.